A Father to the Fatherless

It was a crisp fall afternoon of what is nearing the 10-year anniversary of a  moment that changed my life forever. I was twenty-five years young, sitting at the family cabin that was a foundational location for me. I found myself in a moment alone, or so I thought I was alone. I was sitting on the front porch contemplating all of my life choices up unto that point - the pain, the regret, and the grief. My mind flooded back to my first heartache when my father left me standing in a parking lot at four years old. It felt like every stone was piling heavily on top of that first raw moment. Stone after stone. Wall after wall. 

As audible as it could have been, like a loudspeaker in my chest racing straight to my heart, I heard, "Chelsea, I know the pain runs deep from the absence of your earthly father, but you’ve had a Father all along. I've been right here through every moment of your life. You’ve never been alone, nor will you ever be.” And that's where my healing began. I knew and had accepted Him as my “Father” but didn’t fully come into agreement with the depth of that kind of unconditional love until that day. God wrecked my mind and romanced my heart all at the same. Sometimes it requires us walking into brokenness with Him in order to come out on the other side mended. The realization that day began to change me and has continued to sanctify and heal me in ways that I could have never imagined.  

You see, the living word reiterates over and over about how our Heavenly Father is a Father to the fatherless and how He fights to protect us, His children. We who lack in the “father” field didn't choose that for our life.  For some, the word "fatherless" means having a father that left your life completely. For others, that means having a father sitting right beside you who isn’t or wasn’t emotionally or mentally available, or lastly, having a father that is no longer on this earth from death. All are just as painful as the other. I’ve learned through 35 years of pain and healing that despite what we are born into or what happens, our life has a divine purpose for the greater glory of our Heavenly Father. YOU have a divine purpose. YOU  have a daddy. The best daddy that ever was. And that's what I failed to recognize until that day.  

Denise Boggs from Living Waters Ministry taught me that feelings buried alive will never die.  

You see, friends, life was tough and came with tough seasons, as I'm sure it has with many of you reading these very words. Through it all, I experienced that our God is bigger. For me, I faced the utmost abandonment coming from a father at a young age, divorce on my behalf in my young 20’s, infertility for 13 years and the loss of multiple babies,  addiction with my now husband, and more painful valleys than this blog post could hold.  

As it talks about raising a banner on a hilltop and waving our hands to  encourage them in Isaiah 13, I am here on this earth to do just that. Not  because those valleys weren’t incredibly painful and life-changing, but  because our Father met me in those streams and made the views on the  other side completely worth it. He called me close and held me under His  eagle wings.  

God met me on that porch and sat in my brokenness just the way He always had and always will in those valleys. He came face to face with me with the whisper of His voice to wreck my heart in the best way possible, knowing that I had endured so much and yet would endure much more to come. You see, our God won't leave us in our brokenness. He will chase us and pursue us. He will tweak us and stretch us. He will run after that one, to not leave us in a way that He knows we don't belong. It may not always be comfortable, but friend, let me tell you that it's so incredibly worth it.  

As Lysa Terkhurst often mentions, we are living in a life between two gardens, walking our way to glory. But we must not forget that right here, in the here and now, He is just as faithful and present in whatever you may be going through or walking into. This is our dash. This is our chance.  

Coming up on the 10-year anniversary of that encounter with God, I now see how He never quit fighting for me. How I had to dig deep and heal the brokenness that God wasn't going to allow me to continue to wallow in. How I had to forgive those who had hurt me and let them free as well as forgive myself. How I had to surrender it all, and I mean all! My fresh surrender that day was met with a fresh feeling. One that I had yet to encounter and a feeling that I craved more of.  

I have a sober husband who is now in full-time ministry. Once a professional fisherman, God has called him to be a fisher of men. He is a warrior working on the front lines fighting for those who are going through the very same battles that he did. He loves the Lord and our family more than I could have ever dreamed a husband could.  

Shortly after I forgave my father after 26 years, we got pregnant with our living, breathing miracle and had our son, who brings more joy than I thought was possible. God called my father home 12 hours after our son was born. Now, I understand even more the fierce and unconditional love through getting to love my very own.  

As for me, I believe in miracles because I have seen my very own. I went from abandoned to adopted. From discarded to chosen. The fragrance of my worship is forever sweeter, and I know I am never alone, no matter what may come. This life isn’t about me, but His praises and glory will forever be on my lips for what He has done for me.

-Chelsea

About Chelsea:

Chelsea McLeod is a native Carolina girl who loves to explore anywhere she's never been. An old soul and an extroverted-introvert with a deep heart that overflows with passion and a hunger for God to use, she gets filled up in the untouched outdoors where she can always see and feel His splendor. Chelsea is a Master cosmetologist by trade with a BA in Social Work and Counseling - for her, these intermix daily. She and her husband, John, have one sweet miracle son, and they work together blogging and helping others find freedom the same way they did. Check out her blog and podcast below!

Blog: Faith for Miracles

Podcast: Hope After Addiction

We all need a reminder that we are not alone in the seasons we walk through. If you can you relate to Chelsea's story let us know in the comments below.